By loading kids with high expectations and micromanaging their lives at every turn, parents aren't actually helping. At least, that's how Julie Lythcott-Haims sees it. With passion and wry humor, the former Dean of Freshmen at Stanford makes the case for parents to stop defining their children's success via grades and test scores. Instead, she says, they should focus on providing the oldest idea of all: unconditional love. After the talk, stick around for a discussion on how you can be a grown-up, too, as Elise and Julie discuss her new book, "Your Turn: How to Be an Adult." This episode is part of the TED Talks Daily summer book club, a series featuring talks and interviews to inspire your next great read. And if you'd like to learn more from Julie, you can enroll in her new TED Course, which builds off the ideas from her book. Whether you're just launching your adult life or finally giving yourself permission to question what adulthood even is, you'll learn practical strategies to build a future that fits you. Enroll at tedtalks.social/bestself.