It takes more than great code to be a great engineer. Soft Skills Engineering is a weekly advice podcast for software developers about the non-technical stuff that goes into being a great software developer.
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Episode 496: Passing non-technical interviews and my internship with only other interns
In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: Listener Tom says, I’m a software developer with six years experience, mostly at small startups with engineering teams anywhere between 2 and 10 developers. Because these startups have been small, most of the interviews were really casual. I’d speak to either the CEO, or CTO about my past experience, and we would talk about the direction the company was heading, and whether I’d be interested in joining. They felt less like interviews, and more like free-flowing conversations. I’m now back on the market, and I’m looking at larger, more established tech companies. I can get past the tech interviews just fine, but I’m struggling with the soft-skills interviews. Compared to what I’m used to they’re a lot more structured and it feels like they’re looking for answers that fit a certain criteria and format. What advice would you give to someone used to interviewing at small startups, but now interviewing at larger companies? I took an unpaid full stack internship role at a new non-profit, and it turned out to be a team completely made of other interns. There isn’t a single experienced engineer on the team. I have gone way deeper than originally intended and am now functionally a founding engineer where the founder pretends I’m a lead engineer and calls me an intern. The founder is also hellbent on having the highest development velocity, and sometimes will contribute their own AI-generated code, often bypassing the review process especially for things I’m not comfortable signing off on like an AI-generated TOS and user agreement. I recently learned that the founder is not viewed highly in their local area after a scandal where they were accused of scamming a large sum of money, which is likely why they are doing their free community projects they started now in order to save face. This has backfired, and now people are calling their projects “AI generated schemes” despite the services being completely free. I’m not sure if I should continue contributing to these projects anymore. Since the founder rushes things to get done, walks through legal areas with their AI “lawyer,” and has a bad image, I’m worried about whether my resume will be taken seriously by potential future employers. Should I continue working for this person or is the experience not worth it?
Episode 495: What to do when my boss quits and moving to Romania?
In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: Hello gentlemen, long-time listener here, and I’d love your take on something that’s been keeping me up at night. The high powered boss that I report to is someone I genuinely like and respect.This manager is smart, kind, honest, and overall great to work with. We have a solid relationship. I also come from big tech, so I sometimes feel I have better experience around managing projects and keeping teams organized. However she recently shared in confidence that there’s a chance of resigning in the next few months. and when I asked what keeps her up at night, the headache did not seem so big of a deal to me. But ever since hearing this news, I’ve been catastrophizing the next few months. I’m not ready to job-hunt. At the same time, if this manager does leave, it could be a really good opportunity for me to step up. So here’s what I’m struggling with: 1.How do I position myself for a potential promotion without making it seem like I’m going behind my manager’s back or trying to undermine them? 2.Should I quietly start looking for an job anyways, just in case? 3.And how do I stay sane when this might all be for nothing and the manager might actually stay? Would really appreciate your wisdom on how to navigate this without losing more sleep. Thanks for everything you do! I’ve worked as an engineering manager in a few big companies in Berlin, but after too much corporate politics bs, I flipped the fingers and quit. In the 2025 economy, that wasn’t the smartest move — finding a new job has been harder than ever. I’ve been focusing on smaller companies, ideally under 100 people. Ideally less politics, more autonomy. But now I’ve got an offer from Google in Bucharest — nearly double the compensation what I could get in Germany. The catch? I’d have to leave my strong circle of friends in Berlin and start over in a new city, new country. What would you do in my place? Brainstorm with me please 🥺
Episode 494: Am I interviewing all wrong and leaving old team chats
In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: Dear Damison and Javison, I work at a very small startup (<10 engineers) and am trying to hire 2 engineers. I’m doing the intro/screener interview for these roles & am working with a recruiting firm to source candidates. My problem is that sometimes my intuition tells me that a candidate is not going to make it through our hiring process, but I can’t articulate why. Our hiring process is neither cruel nor unusual, and on paper these candidates have the skills and experience we’re looking for. But I feel a duty to let the hiring process do its work; I want to be principled about this. For reference, I’d say I screen out 2/3 of recruiter-screened candidates, and of those remaining, 2/5 of the candidates have the je ne sais quoi for which I should be saying non, merci. One made it all the way to reference checks! Do I need to do a better job rejecting these nice, smart people instead of wasting our time? Also note that I am not a manager, and although I have a lot of experience interviewing candidates, this is the first time I’ve done the *first* interview with candidates (first-ish; the recruiting firm interviews them first). Listener Jeppe says, Hi Soft Skills nation, What’s the accepted practice with staying or leaving the private chat channels of my previous team? I work at a large company and recent switched teams internally. I helped establish the team and got along really well with them. The transfer was on good terms (they invited to their Christmas dinner after the transfer!) and my managers agreed that I could always help my old team in case something came up. I’m still in the internal chat channels for my old team. I love hearing what they’re up to and catching up. They explicitly told me not to be a stranger, so I’m not! However, I don’t think there’s much business value in being in their channels. Sometimes we have more technical chats about internal tools, and it would probably be better if I had those discussion with my new team. What should I do? Should I just stay until their manager decides to kick me out? Should I be proactive and talk with the manager about it? Should I leave a teary message about how I’m going to miss them all (even if I see them regularly at lunch and outside work sometimes)?
Episode 493: My boss one-ups my negativity and football engineering
In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: Hey Guys, long time listener, first time asker! At my BigCorp Co., whenever I talk to my skip level about my concerns, it seems we are playing the ‘Gloom Olympics’ every time we meet. I’ll mention I worked late, and he’ll counter with, ‘That’s nothing, I haven’t slept in three days!’ This repeated lack of empathy is demotivating and I don’t think I have had a fruitful discussion with him. How can I tackle this? How can I feel heard? I’ve decided to leave my current job as a software engineer at a large retail chain. This is my first out of university, and I’ve been here three years. I’m interviewing for two other jobs: one as an engineer at another large retail chain on a team, and another at a world renowned European football club. That job would be very different. I’d be the first internal dev hire ever, and I was told I should expect no other devs to get hired for 2+ years. I’d write my own tickets and review my own prs. The project would be to build a dashboard to manage the players - drug testing, injuries, rosters - internally. What should I do? Feedback & mentorship were central to my growth at my current job. I won’t have that at the sports club. My concern is I go to the football team, drink a lot of beer & have a great time, but after 3 years of being my own boss, I’ll think I’m the greatest dev ever but really not have kept up to date with modern trends, forgotten how to take feedback, and written a lot of 💩 code.
Episode 492: Fresh grads and startups or the goog
In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: Listener AWS multi-region is not real multi-region, ask me how I know asks, We’ve recently acquired some bright-eyed and bushy-tailed new grads. What have you found to be the most effective way to onboard new grads into development roles? How has it changed (if at all) since the advent of LLMs? I want to make sure my new-grad crushing machine is operating as smoothly as possible considering the recent advancements in developer tooling. Those new grads won’t crush themselves! Listener Taso asks, Early in my career I was all-in on startups. Then I spent seven years in big companies in leadership roles. I learned a lot, but the politics and the pace were so slow that at some point I’m pretty sure geological processes were moving faster than our release cycles. So I finally flipped some metaphorical fingers and quit. Since then I’ve been interviewing almost exclusively with startups… except Google, where I somehow ended up with an offer on a team I’d genuinely enjoy. You’ve both bounced between big tech and startups—if you were in my shoes, how would you think about choosing between the two?
Episode 491: Re-arranging deck chairs on the Titantic and my boss leaks private info
In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: I handed in my resignation this past Monday. During the conversation, my manager confided in me that this coming Wednesday, 25% of the workforce is being laid off. For context, this is the second round of layoffs. The first round happened a year ago and was a disaster. It was announced via an internal video the night before, but the CEO forgot to mention that the affected employees had already been notified privately. This caused mass panic; thinking they were next, many experienced engineers immediately brushed up their resumes and jumped ship voluntarily. Even my skip-level manager was in the dark. Shortly after that chaos, we were acquired by an American Private Equity firm. Morale has been at an all-time low ever since, and the writing has been on the wall all year. Now I am in the awkward position of serving my three-month notice period while walking through the ruins of my company. I am the “lucky one” who quit voluntarily two days before the hammer dropped to join a different company for a massive raise and promotion, while my colleagues are about to lose their jobs. How do I navigate the next 90 days? How do I interact with the survivors who are likely furious and overworked, knowing I’m already checking out? Sincerely, Rearranging Deckchairs on the Titanic Hello! I have a bad manager, like really bad. She gets the whole team together to say “so and so is getting laid off tomorrow, or in a month, don’t say anything”. She openly shares employee compensation in 1-1’s, gossips about her boss and team members and takes feedback as personal attacks. Would you believe me if I said that no one trusts her? What should I do? I want to contact HR but I have never talked to HR before in my career. I know I can’t tell her because engineers who have offered feedback on team dynamics, or general professionalism, get yelled in 1-1’s. Is this something worth taking to HR or do I just live with it until… I get a new job? If I do say something what do I say? Do I bring up the distrust she has created amongst the team or do I keep it to the poor judgement and unprofessionalism? Do you want to write the letter for me? Yes!? Thanks!
Episode 490: How do I break into software dev from QA automation and underselling
In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: Hi Dave and Jamison, I’ve been in QA/QA automation for 13 years now with a CS degree, and I’ve been trying to change my role to a software developer for a while. My only issue is that every time I brought my career aspirations to my managers they seemed to “not care” or give vague answers to “kick the can down the road”. In the past I fully demonstrated I can do the work by submitting bug fixes, writing and deploying a few microservices by myself (all product feature work), on top of performing my QA duties. I get high marks in my performance reviews, but that doesn’t seem to be enough! I also seem to attract some resentment from my team (silently but it’s noticed) as they see a QA trying to soak up their dev work and I get a strong “stay in your lane” vibe. I do it to help them, not take all of their work. Any advice? Am I approaching this the wrong way? And what would you do in my situation? Thanks and all the best! Hi! Three years ago, I relocated from a third-world country to Europe for work. I tend to undersell myself a lot. I know I am a competent, hard-working, and smart engineer. I have strong opinions and can evaluate trade-offs. I can participate in discussions about complex systems, and I have experience managing projects. But sometimes I’m afraid of looking dumb and scared of confrontation. This means I rarely voice my opinions or suggestions. I often let go of them at the slightest objection, even if I believe the other person is mistaken. Whenever I speak or comment on a subject in Slack, I always use phrases like “I’m not 100% sure”, “as far as I remember”, or “I have to look it up but I think … “. These would not matter If I was showing my confidence through other means like participating in discussions confidently, but these all add up to create an image of someone reliable in getting things done, but not reliable at taking more responsibility. I was not like this before moving. Occasionally I struggle with the language when in big meetings or talking about complex matters, but I’m comfortable with English. It has an effect for sure, but it is not the cause. I’m going to start a new position and I want to have a longer career there. But I’m afraid that I can not give myself the head start I know I’m capable of. How can I improve my own personal onboarding process and let my new colleagues and manager know how lucky they are to have me on their team?
Episode 489: Ethical dilemma for a gambling app dev and ethical employers
In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: Hey Jamison and Dave, love your show! A question for you guys coming all the way from the Netherlands 🧀 I’ve started as a software engineer in a gambling company lately and the moral aspect of it bothers me a bit. And while listening to you talking about the importance of accessibility in the last episode (#488) I came up with this moral dilemma: should a developer push for making a gambling app more accessible for users with disabilities or better not to? 😅 Thank you 🖤 Listener Arie Marie asks, What are some good ways to research prospective employers to see if they have a strong commitment to ethical and human values? What are good questions to ask prospective employers during an interview? How can I be a developer and do what I love, and know that I’m not making the income inequality greater? How do you develop a lens to look at a company and discern it’s positive impact? How do you know if you’re making the world a better place?
Episode 488: How do I survive in a culture of optics and jira slacker
In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: Hey Dave and Jamison, Big fan of the show — listening from Portugal! (Proof that even across the Atlantic, software politics are universal.) I’m a tech lead, and lately I’ve noticed a culture where people seem to care way more about how things look than what actually gets done. It’s like the appearance of productivity matters more than real impact. Honestly, it drives me nuts!! I know politics are part of any organization, and way more in a leadership role, but this feels excessive. As someone who values substance and solid engineering, how do I deal with or influence this kind of culture without losing my sanity (or turning into one of those “optics-first” people myself)? Thanks for all the insights and laughs. Kudos from Portugal! Listener Charlie says, I’m fresh out of college at my first software engineering job. Several months ago I was appointed the accessibility champion for my team. I proposed a few items in the quarterly planning session, but I think it wasn’t enough. My project manager called out our whole team, but I think it was mostly aimed at me. I’ve been struggling with creating Jira cards, shaping with the team, writing a11y guidelines, etc. It’s tedious and I’m not really familiar with this kind of work. How can I get better at the “other stuff” besides just writing code? P.S. I volunteered for this responsibility 😩
Episode 487: My manager ignores me during 1:1's and I am required to work in an empty office
In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: “My manager insists on a weekly 1:1 with me, but he rarely pays attention. He’s often on his laptop, texting, checking email — basically anything but listening. I’ve tried sending agendas, rescheduling, reducing frequency, waiting until he’s less busy — nothing helps. I’ve even started sitting in silence until he notices I’ve stopped talking, but that only works for a minute. This has caused real problems. For example, he almost had me cancel a million-dollar project because he misheard me say “Java” instead of “JavaScript.” When he finally realized I was right, he said, “Every time I heard Java I automatically tuned out.” How do I handle a 1:1 with a manager who won’t pay attention, without risking my work or my relationship with him?” “I’ve worked for a big retailer for 10 years now and I used to really enjoy it. I liked my team a lot, problems we worked on, technologies we used. Unfortunately the last few yours brought a few rounds of layoffs and my old team doesn’t exist anymore and the new team is pretty much awful. They’re all on the East Coast, while I’m on the West Coast. I’m required to work EST hours but also to commute to the office 5 days a week and sit there alone and talk to my team on zoom. I’m a staff software engineer and I haven’t been programming much for the past year. Most of my time is spent in calls, I start every day with the same 3 calls. I live 50 miles from the office and I take a company shuttle that leaves at 7am. I’m required to join the calls from my phone. I leave for work at 6:30am, I’m back at home at 6:30pm. A few times a week I need to do deployment at 10pm. I tried speaking to my manager and to my director. They don’t care. My every attempt to improve our processes is met with opposition. My manager is afraid of changes. I can’t believe this is where I am but I’m too tired to prepare for job hunting. I can’t afford to quit. I don’t know how to get myself on track and dust off my programming and interviewing skills. I’m praying they’ll lay me off so that I can use the severance to do all those things. But this isn’t really a plan, it’s wishful thinking, and I’m afraid that my career options are getting worse by the minute. Do you have any advice on how to get myself out of this hell hole?”
Episode 486: No one on my team talks and skip level meetings
In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: I work at a big tech company on a remote team of about 10 people, and most of them have been here for 5+ years. I’m in the “newer” half of the team with 4 years here. My problem is, in group meetings, absolutely NO ONE talks. I mean zero small talk, they have trouble responding to simple yes or no questions. Everyone participates thoroughly when it’s a technical discussion, but it’s clear no one has any interest in speaking more than necessary. We used to have one super talkative guy on our team, and even then it was mostly silence to his chats about his weekend. Is there anything I can do to get these people to speak at least a little bit? It feels insane how little I know about these people after 4 years. P.S. even in one on one chats, almost all of them shut down small talk A coworker told me that I should be having quarterly one-on-one’s with my skip to make sure they’re aware of all the good stuff I’ve been up to and my goal of promotion. This sounds correct, but feels weird when I think about setting this up. I haven’t had much direct communication with my skip, just a few responses to his questions during design meetings, but nothing else really. How do I feel less weird about this?
Episode 485: I'm terrible at hiring decisions and my coworker spams us with AI-generated memes
In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: What signals do you look for when interviewing candidates? I’ve helped interview many people at this point and almost all of the engineers that I marked as “hire” that we brought on board ended up being low performers and were eventually managed out. I wasn’t the only one who approved them either, so not all the blame falls on me, but I’m really doubting my ability to assess talent. Is hiring inherently just this difficult? Is there anything I can do to improve my judgement or screening approach? Hi Dave and Jamison, A coworker on my team won’t stop creating AI generated memes. We’re a remote team and every meeting he shares memes in the chat whilst we’re trying to have productive conversations. He does this in any type of meeting, including all-hands meetings with C-level execs. On smaller calls he often hijacks it to share his screen and show us a meme he just created about something that was just said. It started off funny at first. But it’s now a constant distraction. I find it frustrating because I don’t see how he can be paying attention and contributing to discussions when he’s busy making memes. And, I also don’t appreciate seeing AI versions of my own face being shared into public Slack channels. How can I address this without sounding like I am anti-fun? Love the show, been listening for many years, keep up the good work!
Episode 484: How to get a raise after slacking off for YEARS and my PM won't stop DM'ing me
In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: Hi! Love your show and how casually you talk and make fun of everything! I started my career as a freelancer and then joined a mid-size software development company to learn how the sausage is really made, salary wasn’t that important back then. A few kids and a lot more expensive lifestyle later the compensation has become more motivating, but I’m not sure how to sell myself to my manager if I don’t feel like I deserve a high salary myself. (The manager decides the salaries for all our team members.) For years I’ve been focusing on my family and other life stuff, so I’ve spent a looot of working hours not working and basically doing the minimum progress acceptable. Slow progress has come up once with my manager, from which I wiggled out of with various excuses. I’ve realised that this way of working isn’t really fair for the company and my teammates and I’ve started to take this job and my career seriously in the last few months. The company and everyone working there are super supportive and it’s been a terrific experience for all of those years. I’ve gotten a raise multiple times with always me initiating that conversation. There aren’t any clear metrics to improve that directly ties to the salary: I’ve asked my manager about it and the answer was vague like “we have this local salary survey that we take as the base and work from there”. So long story short: how to ask for a raise while not feeling like a criminal since I feel like I haven’t earned the salary I had thus far? I’m a team lead who’s growing increasingly frustrated with my project manager. Every planning conversation ends up in my private DMs, no matter how many times I’ve asked him to move these discussions to the team chat. When he messages me one-on-one, my team loses visibility into decisions, questions don’t get addressed openly, and important context just evaporates. It’s not only slowing us down, it also makes me feel like the burden of relaying everything falls squarely on me. I’ve tried gently redirecting him back to the shared space, but he keeps defaulting to my DMs. How can I get him to respect the boundaries of team communication without damaging our working relationship? Sincerely, Lost in the PM’s DMs
Episode 483: My team hated me from day one and should I stack PTO before my resignation
In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: How would you handle a situation where a team forms a negative opinion about you from day one — without any clear reason and without ever giving you a real chance to prove yourself? Even when you contribute technically, your suggestions are ignored… until someone else repeats the same thing and suddenly it’s considered valid. Is it possible to stay in that kind of environment without becoming bitter or burned out? Can you keep contributing professionally — or is it healthier to just walk away? You guys are awesome. Jamison, I interviewed with you and it was lots of fun and productive. Which is really rad. Now… I just landed a 12-month contract in big tech role. It’s perfectly aligned with my long-term career goals. My current fintech FTE is perfectly opposed to my long-term career goals. The question — how unethical / despicable would it be to start one week of PTO at my FTE on the same day as Day One at my contract role so that I can onboard without distractions and then put in my resignation upon returning to my FTE? What about two, three, or four weeks of PTO? Also… are two-week notices still the default still in 2025? Also also… I promise I’m not AI — I’ve been using em dashes since the 20th century.
Episode 482: I got a promotion, but a tiny raise and an imposter interviewed for my team
In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions: After a year of trying, I recently got promoted to staff engineer! It’s great to receive recognition for my work, but i’m not actually very happy, because I only got a 4% raise! I spoke with a former coworker about how much a staff engineer in my role should expect, and he said that he would be insulted by less than . My comp is now slightly below ! In addition to this, times are tough for the business, so it seems unlikely that we’ll get annual bonuses, meaning I likely won’t even get to appreciate the larger target staff bonus! What a bummer! How should I approach this? A year and a half ago after getting a below inflation raise, I was told I was at the top of my level’s pay band and would need to get promoted if I wanted to go much higher. Now that I’ve gotten promoted, it seems like that wasn’t true! I should be grateful that I still have a job and got promoted and got any increase, but I feel like I’m being short changed! How can I talk to my manager to see about getting more money? My company does not address complaints. Here are two examples. On my first day, the lead engineer told me not to participate in the project. He was impossible to work with: He’d hold up PR’s for 3 months because of linting and prettier rules. Eventually, I figured out he was exceptionally insecure and wanted no feedback or anyone to expose his technical weaknesses. I conflicted with him a lot and got shuffled to another department. My 2nd example comes from a trainee. I helped him out everyday after standup for 30 minutes. How he passed his interview, I don’t know. He didn’t know what a semicolon was after a 4 years bachelor in computer science and 6 months of being a trainee. I complained to a friend at work who had, I didn’t know, interviewed the trainee. My friend was surprised, and so we hopped on a call with the trainee who didn’t recognize my friend. After snooping around on social media, we found the guy who had done the interview, the trainee’s brother. I told HR & my department head. Nothing happened. Here’s the question: Getting kicked out of a department ruined my confidence. I have a safe, secure job where there’s no pressure. But my firm doesn’t address complaints properly. Time and time again, people will complain about the linting/prettier guy or other issues like the trainee and nothing is done. Should I leave? I work on a greenfield project here. Switching to a (likely) legacy codebase I didn’t build and dealing with higher pay/expectations is very daunting.